okay i'm not saying it's bad, but as an aromantic, it's so frustrating that aromanticism is such a huge spectrum

because okay. say i find another aro person and they tell me they're aromantic, as most of them will before leading into their specific microlabel, they will almost never have my same attraction or feelings towards romanticism

the aro spectrum sort of has two different axis to it, there's the one everyone already knows which is no attraction to some attraction*, but there's also the one based on peoples attitudes towards romance (eg. romance-repulsed, romance-neutral, etc). the issue i experience with it is that it creates such a huge spectrum of what people can feel and be that i genuinely have not found anyone that i can personally relate to in my life, and trust me i've met a lot of aro people!

i'm personally romance-neutral no-attraction aromantic, and honestly the latter detail is what ends up causing a lot of my disconnect with other aromantics, every time i meet another theres always this sort period of time where they introduce themselves as simply being aro. i'll feel this happiness thinking i've found someone who understands my thoughts and experiences and can relate to them, someone i can discuss them with, and then i'll find out that the specific microlabel they identify with experiences some degree of romantic attraction. unfortunately, i truly believe that someone that experiences any degree of romantic attraction will never understand my thoughts and experiences, and this causes that sense of disconnect all over again

now i'm not saying that they aren't valid! i love my fellow aro people that are anywhere on the spectrum, they're awesome and i genuinely have nothing against them. it's just frustrating to not have anyone i can relate to in my life, i don't really have anyone i can talk about my experiences with that would also understand how i feel and why i think the things i do. anyone that feels any degree of romantic attraction understands something that i never truly will, something that i've never felt, and so they'll never truly understand the confusion and way of thinking that comes with the absence of it. fundamentally, i will always always view romantic attraction in a different way than they do.

sometimes, it makes me wish there was a different label entirely for people like me. sometimes i don't feel any community at all here, it can get very lonely. sure i can go under simply “aromantic” all i want, but that label is also what everyone else uses as it's the umbrella term for the entirety of the spectrum. i want to be able to discuss some of the things i feel and think with someone who experiences the same things i do, and sometimes it feel like i never will.

i'm SO back...

unfortunately this time i just completely forgot i had this site, just been so busy and tired.. happens around this time every year

but anyway, a few updates! got through another show and show date for our musical is rapidly aproaching so I honestly wouldn't expect another blog post for a bit. i've also been thinking about some things reguarding this website as of recent

i feel like i say this every time but i really would like to be more active on here, i want to interact with people more, join more webrings, just be around. I was thinking maybe replacing the pictures on the photos page with ones taken on my shitty digital camera, and i also sortof need to change the rain world gifs becauseee i'm not really into that game anymore! the fixation has passed.

i'd also like to blog a little more, but less about life updates. i want to share my thoughts on topics and just use this a bit more as a way to share my feelings on things in general, on top of life update of course. those won't be going away

anyway i should start naming these... also hey new art on the art page

Back to make another post because apparently I just make these whenever i have a new upload

anyway though!! yes new upload!! i made this one on a whim yesterday afternoon as to give myself a nice little distraction and it ended up being something im kindof proud of!! (go look below,,,)

other update is the auditions for our next play are this upcoming week and guess who's stage manager for this one,,,,, i'm so excited about it!! it's something i've been aiming for since i joined

i love my job so much and i'm going to strive to do the best i can with the role!!

ALSO i finished the new page! you can check it out by clicking the blinkies on the home page OR just use this link: https://enderwebs.neocities.org/identities

it says it on the page itself but it's purpose is to explain the terms i identify with, mostly the two that i know people don't see around very often!

go look go look at my many things,,,

Guess what ("what?") another long break, i really cant seem to get on here very consistently but anyway! lots of little updates

First off is new webpage will be added soon!!! I want to add a little page linked to my identity blinkies just explaining what they are, it'd make it a bit easier when I have to explain some of the things to people

next thing is that i made yet another animation in the time i was gone! i decided to use "JUST BE COMPETENT" to practice a bit of frame by frame, i really want to incorperate it more into my tweening

(link to the animation in question btw,,, go look!!)

last little update is that yay!! finished and got through our first theater show of the year in which i'm very honored to have had the privilage to be assistant stage manager! i had such a fun time working on this play and i can't wait to start on our next one!

alright actually starting on that new webpage now

So many long breaks oops, everythings just so tiring i fear

anyway though, lots of things! first off, school starts in like two days so expect a lot more long breaks from me (although i will say this is the happiest ive been with my class choices so far)

also wanted to announce that ive been added to the trans webring!! yay!! not feeling the best about being trans at the moment but i'm soo happy about being added to this webring community

thing number three is that i've made yet another animation meme since the last time i've updated thiiisss, took a lot less time than the first one which is nice! heres a link to the meme in question:

i think that's pretty much all i wanted to mention, if you want to see me talk more you can go look at my twitter i guess!

oh yeah also updating my art page oops

Yet another long break from me, turns decompressing from a show came right before having to lock in for the end of school but anyway!

in the little time ive had other than doing schoolwork i managed to finish an animation meme i'd been working on! my first one too which is super exciting. i will say, im not the biggest fan of how i did the lip syncing but hey it's also my first time so it's alr y'know! i'll accept it

here's the meme in question if anyone wants to check it out:

it was so fun to make this and im so excited to have more time over the summer to make more!! at least hopfully,, i mean i do plan to get a job

oh well, i'll try my best

Okay so it's been a hot minute! This past month has just been super draining for me with school, home, and the last few weeks of the musical I've been a scenic tech in (turns out coming home at 7 pm everyday for two weeks can be super tiring). I've just kinda needed a week to decompress

Speaking of the show though! it was an absolutely amazing experience, we had our last two showings last saturday and it was so much fun!! Though I will absolutely miss a lot of the people I had an oppertunity to work with during the making

I aim to work on many more shows in the future. personally aiming to eventually be a scenic lead or honestly even stage manager, I feel i'd be really up for that challenge

for now though, just resting. Enjoying having time to work on my personal hobbies again, and just having a good time getting to do my own thing

super glad to be back!!

Supposed I should probably add another little blurb here since It's my birthday! Well,, it was yesterday at least. Though if I'm being honest.. no clue what to really write here

I will say Iive met and reconnected with some amazing people this past year, both online and IRL, and I'm super thankful to have done so! It's (for the most part) been such a good experience, and I can't wait to continue meeting new people this coming year!! There's also my partner who's been with me through all this time as well, I couldn't be happier having spent this time with anyone else.

Also very proud of all the things I've done this year! I've learned how to use a variety of programs, of which include things like Blender, Illustrator, and Toonsquid. I had honestly wanted to use each of these things for a while and I'm so glad I finally got the opportunity to use them! I really hope to improve my skill with these programs in the future. I love the thought of being able to use a wide variety of programs to create all different types of art!!

Can't forget to mention that I've also learned HTML and CSS to make this site! I think I may have mentioned this in my last blurb but it was a lot more fun than I thought it'd be. I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up making more sites in the future.

Anyway though, ending this before it gets too too long, I'm just glad to have made it where i am now!

Wow this was a lot more sentimental than i meant it to be

First little blurb I'll put here I guess! I'm almost done decorating and adding content to my site which has been a lot more fun than I thought it'd be if I'm being completely honest

like okay, i was looking forward to actually learning html and i've wanted a neocities site for a while but i wasn't expecting it to actually be this fun to make which is nice!

it'd probably do some good to explain what inspired me to make this little website, and its mostly because of the fact that i like this typa thing! i love pretty much anything 2000's/y2k and all things oldweb in general

I've also just kinda wanted a place where I can put anything I want, a little place to myself, something thats just me, for fun!

What really jumpstarted me finally sitting down to learn how to make this site though was scrolling through some neocities sites about two weeks ago, at some point landing on jeith.com. Something about their site really inspired me to make mine (and it's also just really awesome in general and i think you should absolutely go check them out)!